1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,771 FRANKIE: Some days are just like any other day. 3 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,206 Okay. Commercial. 4 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:13,709 Let's hear about everybody's day. I'll go first. 5 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,577 I went to work, filled my purse with doughnuts, didn't sell a car, came home. 6 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:20,879 - There's doughnuts? - I hit a lot of red lights on the way back. 7 00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:23,648 - All right, next. - I didn't make the chess team. 8 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,758 Turns out it's nothing like checkers. 9 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:29,087 I finally sneezed this eraser out of my nose. 10 00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:32,287 - Ew. - I did stuff. Whatever. 11 00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:36,265 - I found a dinosaur bone. - What? 12 00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:39,063 Then again, some days really surprise you. 13 00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,230 MIKE: Yeah, I was in the south end of the quarry. 14 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:45,276 All of a sudden, I looked down, and there's this gnarled claw-bone thing. 15 00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:46,502 SUE: Awesome. BRICK: Cool. 16 00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:47,873 - That's not lame. MIKE: Yeah. 17 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,447 I'll call the college, have them come pick it up. 18 00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:53,517 What? You're gonna let them take credit for your discovery? 19 00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:55,278 Mike, this is a big deal. 20 00:00:55,488 --> 00:00:57,149 SUE: You should call the Orson Herald. 21 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,824 Maybe they'll put your picture in the paper. 22 00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:01,584 Oh, they don't want my picture. 23 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,524 Well, they did that whole article... 24 00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:06,631 ...on the guy who found the chicken nugget shaped like Texas. 25 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:07,960 I think you'll get in. 26 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:11,865 So Mike called the Orson Herald, who called the local news... 27 00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:13,596 ...who called the national news. 28 00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:14,797 And just like that... 29 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:19,604 So we gotta shut down for four months to let the paleontologists dig. 30 00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:20,837 [ALL MURMURING] 31 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,811 Mike was out of a job. 32 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,682 Oh, you're home early. 33 00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:28,047 And you made dinner. What a nice surprise. 34 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:31,019 Yeah, well, it's really more of a bad surprise. 35 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:34,649 Oh, you forgot ketchup. Oh, this sucks. 36 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:36,055 I'm out of a job. 37 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,422 - What? AXL: Wait. 38 00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,791 Ha, ha. Found it. It was under the French fries. 39 00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,024 [WHISTLES] 40 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:45,194 They're closing the quarry so scientists can come in and dig up the rest of it. 41 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:46,632 - Dude. - Yeah. 42 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:49,036 Oh, my God, you lost your job? 43 00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:50,801 - Are we gonna be okay? - Don't worry, 44 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,911 - It's just a few months. FRANKIE: We'll be fine. 45 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,842 MIKE: Absolutely. - Nothing to worry about. 46 00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:57,505 Hey, Mike, can I see you in the kitchen for a sec? 47 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,522 - Oh, my God, Mike. We're screwed. - Oh, yeah. 48 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:08,457 I would not wanna be us right now. At least things are picking up at the dealership. 49 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,687 That's something I say when the kids are in the room. 50 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,889 We can't afford you being out of work right now. 51 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,328 What are you gonna do? 52 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:17,662 Well, I thought I might travel a little bit, bike around Europe. 53 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,964 What do you think? I'm gonna find another job. 54 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:23,074 - I got a lot of skills. I'm not worried. - Okay. 55 00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:24,504 Then I'm not either. 56 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,047 Mom. Sign this. 57 00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:35,180 You're running for school historian? 58 00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,356 What? I thought you'd want me to run. 59 00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,184 Every time you sign up for something... 60 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,827 ...I end up doing it. - That's not true. 61 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,986 Mom, I entered the science fair. 62 00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,433 [FRANKIE SIGHS] 63 00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:53,271 We're having a party for Mr. Peterson's retirement. 64 00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:55,566 I signed up to write him a song. 65 00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:59,233 [SINGING] Mr. Peterson, you were really fun 66 00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:04,645 We're gonna miss you a ton Mr. Peterson 67 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,318 Whoa, whoa, whoa... 68 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:10,745 You won't have to do a thing this time. I promise. 69 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,585 All I need is your signature. 70 00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:14,726 Or I could have Axl do your signature. 71 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,054 He's really good at it. 72 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,457 [SIGHS] 73 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,292 MIKE: Hey, here's a job. 74 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:27,830 "Paleontologist's assistant. Must have Master's degree." 75 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,065 That's not fair. 76 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,300 You're qualified. You found the damn thing. 77 00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:35,914 Trust me. There's no jobs out there, no matter how awesome you may be. 78 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:37,140 MIKE: Mm. 79 00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:40,650 Seriously. I texted my r�sum� to like three places last week. 80 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,481 You can't text your r�sum� places. 81 00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:45,089 - Times like these, you gotta get out there. - Yeah. 82 00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:48,022 - Finding a job is a job. - I'd like to quit that job. 83 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,355 The only way to quit that job is to get a job. 84 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:53,964 And that's why you're going with me to the Orson Job Fair this weekend. 85 00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:56,624 Oh, God, when do I get time for myself? 86 00:03:56,803 --> 00:04:00,170 Job fair? More like unfair. 87 00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:04,874 When a fine young man like that can't get a job... 88 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,512 ...what hope is there for the rest of us? 89 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,209 FRANKIE: And so Mike was officially on the job hunt. 90 00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:17,447 And he did look pretty snazzy in his funeral blazer. 91 00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,216 MIKE: Is this the line just to get in? 92 00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,859 Wow, lot of people looking for jobs. 93 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,622 This is lame. I'm the only one here under 100. 94 00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:27,890 Hey, where's your r�sum�s? How do you expect to get interviews? 95 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,399 I'm on an interview with a guy from the theater. 96 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,936 You wanna see a picture of his dog puking? Heh. 97 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,768 Oh, look, it's Indiana Bones. 98 00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:40,740 If you find anything on the ground, don't tell this guy. 99 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:47,345 My interview's going great. How do you spell "scrotum"? 100 00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:56,058 Oh, Brick, this says your campaign fliers are due tomorrow. 101 00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:59,925 - Oh, really? - Fliers are super important, Brick. 102 00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:02,624 I did fliers when I lost for student council... 103 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,860 ...and when I lost for Teen Board... 104 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,631 ...and when I lost for Junior High Homecoming Court. 105 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,104 I don't think you get it. 106 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:14,576 But I can't get them done by tomorrow. I need paper and a copier and... 107 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,612 Oh, no, what am I gonna do? 108 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,512 Oh, no. Don't look at me. 109 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,176 If you forgot to make fliers... 110 00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:23,855 ...then you'll just be the candidate without fliers. 111 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:29,086 You know the deal, pal. You are on your own. I am not doing it. 112 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:40,131 Ooh, personal copies on company time? Daddy likes a bad girl. 113 00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:43,298 Yeah, Mommy likes to keep her job, so could you watch the door? 114 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,706 Sure. Don't worry, I'm cool. 115 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:49,711 Sometimes I sit on Mr. Ehlert's desk with no pants on. Yep. 116 00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,714 [WHISPERS] Every day a little victory. 117 00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:57,213 [CHATTERING] 118 00:05:57,457 --> 00:06:00,449 No funnel cake? No rides? Ah, this fair sucks. 119 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,685 Let's just get our jobs and get out of here. 120 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,353 Axl, this is what you gotta do to get a job. 121 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,692 Now, watch and learn. 122 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:11,665 Welcome to CFB Consulting. I'm Charles F. Barnes, a.k.a. CFB. 123 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,465 - Hi, Mike Heck. - Well, Mike, let's see that r�sum�. 124 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,841 I'd say you have a major font problem. 125 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,877 - What? - Ah. It's a little dry. 126 00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:24,572 I can give your r�sum� a complete makeover for $100. 127 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,379 If you want a more comprehensive career consultation... 128 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,418 ...my weekend packages start at $500. 129 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:32,490 It's a better price than any of these other booths. 130 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:33,716 Wait. 131 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,193 This is a racket. There are no jobs here. 132 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:43,495 You just lure people who are out of work so you can sell them crap they can't afford. 133 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,470 Just trying to make a living. 134 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:49,540 That's not how you get a job. 135 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,269 - There wasn't anything else in the paper. - Paper. Ha-ha-ha. 136 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,844 Oh, that's hilarious. You know how I got my last job? 137 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:57,608 My friend friended this other dude who IM'd me saying: 138 00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,411 "You want this job at Barnacles?" 139 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:02,986 I'm like, "Yeah, whatever." He's like, "Cool." And I'm like, "Sweet." 140 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,386 I can stop worrying about America now. 141 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,924 That's how it's done, Dad. You gotta get online. 142 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:14,523 Right about then, Mike was starting to feel a bit like a dinosaur himself. 143 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,691 - Axl. - What? 144 00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:19,929 This company's taking job applications online. I need your help. 145 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,231 Oh. 146 00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:24,001 You need a consult with the Ax Man, do you? 147 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:28,738 Yeah, I'm never calling you that. How do I get this onto that? 148 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,746 You save it as a PDF and upload it. 149 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,942 [SIGHS] 150 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,552 - There. - That's it? 151 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:43,217 Thanks. 152 00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:45,591 Axl. 153 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,959 What? 154 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,499 They need a e-mail address. 155 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:52,467 I only have the one at work and that's down. What's yours? 156 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,833 Rockinfreakshow@grungemail.com. 157 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,483 Here's your fliers. I'm out. 158 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:09,584 You're actually doing your poster on your own? 159 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:13,623 Yup. And I'm done. 160 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:19,361 Walk away. Just turn around and walk away. 161 00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:21,592 [COMPUTER CHIMES] 162 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:24,668 - Axl. - What? 163 00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:25,929 I got a interview. 164 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:27,162 Sweet. 165 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,365 - You got an interview? - Yes, I did. 166 00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,304 Honey, get me my tie. 167 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,674 Okay. But what are we gonna yank to turn the basement light on? 168 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,371 Once I get this job, baby... 169 00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:40,177 ...I'm gonna get you the best light-bulb chain money can buy. 170 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,150 Aw. 171 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,947 Hi, I'm Mike Heck. 172 00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:45,181 Ah, yes. 173 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:46,653 The rockinfreakshow. 174 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,451 Please, sit down. 175 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:52,962 So tell me, Mike. What brings you to Hoosier Grain? 176 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,963 Well, you called me, told me to come in. And here I am. 177 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:59,969 Okay, how about you tell me a little about you? 178 00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:03,836 What are three words you would use to describe yourself? 179 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,136 Uh... 180 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,737 Tall. 181 00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:10,838 Mike. 182 00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,415 - Man? - Okay. 183 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:18,249 Well, what would you say is your best quality? 184 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,117 Tall? 185 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,851 What's your worst quality? 186 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,393 Why would I tell you that? 187 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,533 That would be stupid, right? I'm trying to get a job here. 188 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:31,033 If you were a color, what color would you be? 189 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:35,867 I guess I would stick with the color I am. Are you even allowed to ask me that? 190 00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:39,675 See, Mike couldn't play the game the way you have to in an interview. 191 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,244 He didn't have it in him. 192 00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:44,382 I've been a manager. I'm a hard worker. I've never been late. 193 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:46,415 What else do you need to know? 194 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:51,421 What superhero quality would you find most valuable to you in the workplace? 195 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:57,860 Flying, invisibility, or stretching to extreme lengths? 196 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:08,304 FRANKIE: So Brick forgot the fliers. Big surprise. 197 00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:10,032 I guess it's kind of my fault... 198 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:13,770 ...because I put them on top of his backpack instead of inside it. 199 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,244 When will I learn? 200 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:19,975 Oddly enough... 201 00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:23,315 ...whoever defaced the poster put more work into it than Brick did. 202 00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:24,581 [GIRL LAUGHING] 203 00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:29,855 Hey, pigtails. This your handiwork? 204 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:32,587 No, but it is pretty funny. 205 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,323 You think it's funny, huh? I don't think it's funny. 206 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,628 You know why? Because Brick's not a nerd. 207 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,566 Doesn't make sense. Not a good joke. 208 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:40,797 Unless it's ironic. 209 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,304 Is that why you're laughing? 210 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,875 Because of the extreme not-nerdiness of my son? 211 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,237 Are you a teacher? 212 00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:49,243 Oh, yeah. 213 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,576 You wish I was a teacher. 214 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:56,313 Your school laws don't apply to me. Megan. 215 00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:01,415 So I assume Brick can count on your vote for historian? 216 00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:05,521 [BELL RINGING] 217 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,334 Oh, yeah, I'm in this thing now. 218 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:13,963 [FRANKIE SIGHS] 219 00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:17,303 Okay, not too neat. It's gotta look like an 8-year-old made it. 220 00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:20,468 Frankie, I took Advanced Charcoal Sketch at the Learning Annex. 221 00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:22,705 I can't unteach my hands. 222 00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:25,280 Mom, I found some more markers in the basement. 223 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:28,612 I couldn't find any clean poster board, so I brought my old ones. 224 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,120 We can use the other side. 225 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:37,186 I put so much work into these. Vicki Hanson grows boobs, and it's all over. 226 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,523 I was robbed. 227 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,824 MAN [OVER PA]: Frankie. 228 00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,627 Do you want a glitter border, or is that too much? 229 00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:44,132 I think that's too much. 230 00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,793 [MAN SIGHS] 231 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:48,337 MAN: I'm gonna need a new poster. 232 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:52,136 Mom, if I've learned anything from my 17 non-winning campaigns... 233 00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,745 ...the poster can only get you so far. 234 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,574 It's really all about the speech. 235 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,348 [SIGHS] 236 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,545 - You're supposed to give a speech? - Yeah, Thursday at 2:30. 237 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,191 - Three to five minutes. - Have you written it yet? 238 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,825 I don't know the words yet... 239 00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:10,188 ...but I do know what shirt I'm gonna wear. 240 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,257 [SIGHS] 241 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,760 Hi. How did your interview go? 242 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,024 Great. Really great. 243 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,363 Can I see you in the kitchen for a sec? 244 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,466 It was awful. She kept asking me all these stupid questions... 245 00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:29,342 ...that had nothing to do with the job. How do I describe myself? I don't. 246 00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:33,740 It was just stupid. It was stupid, and I told her so. 247 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,615 Mike, you have to learn to play the game. 248 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:39,051 You gotta suck it up in these things. 249 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,351 Look, you have another interview tomorrow... 250 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:45,588 ...and whatever job they're offering you, make them think it's your passion. 251 00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:48,733 My passion is you and the Colts and the kids. 252 00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,869 Work is work. 253 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,594 You can't tell them that, Mike. 254 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,933 And thank you for putting me above the Colts. 255 00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:58,372 It's tough out there. I don't know how anybody gets a job. 256 00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:01,205 Hey, I got a job. The guy from the theater texted me. 257 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:04,713 I'm working the projector. And he says I can have girls up there. 258 00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,010 [AXL CHUCKLES] 259 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,882 FRANKIE: Mike went to his next interview ready to play the game. 260 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:15,959 So, Mike, what is it about septic tanks that appeals to you? 261 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:20,264 Gosh, where do I begin? Uh... 262 00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:23,959 I think what you do is important for the community. 263 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:27,936 Well, there are a lot of important jobs out there, Mike. 264 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:29,768 Why this one? 265 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:35,676 I just really like to work with my hands, you know? Just get in there and: 266 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,241 Yeah. 267 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:41,510 Lot of jobs where you can work with your hands. 268 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:43,052 Why here? 269 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:50,653 I just think of the reward of hosing out a tank... 270 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:55,164 ...and giving some lucky family a fresh new start. 271 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,495 You can't ever really get to know somebody... 272 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,831 ...until you've gotten to know their waste. 273 00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:02,097 But why septic waste? 274 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:09,976 Because the idea of putting on a rubber suit and goggles... 275 00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:15,644 ...and wading through human excrement sounds like the adventure of a lifetime. 276 00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:19,279 It's like being an astronaut here on planet Earth. 277 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:25,328 I guess what I'm really saying is that septic waste is my passion. 278 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:29,667 [BLOWS RASPBERRY] 279 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:36,041 Okay, in your speech you have to say why you wanna be school historian. 280 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,540 So why do you wanna be school historian? 281 00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,769 Just write whatever you want. 282 00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,073 Brick, I won't always be here. 283 00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:45,513 If you want something, you have to work for it. 284 00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:48,050 It doesn't just magically come to you. 285 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,710 Here's the rest of the posters. 286 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,551 I made this Brick flag, in case you wanna wave it. 287 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,694 Careful, because the paint's still wet. 288 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:59,262 Hey. Brick, why are you reading? 289 00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:02,559 Bob's bringing your posters. I'm sitting here doing your speech. 290 00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:04,326 Well, I didn't ask you to. 291 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:05,833 Well, somebody has to. 292 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:07,437 God, you're suffocating me! 293 00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:09,198 BOB: Hey, break it up. 294 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,572 Would you come with me for a second? 295 00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,608 Look, if he doesn't get it done, he doesn't get it done. 296 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,374 It's not your job to save him. 297 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,883 Bob, you don't know what happened. They already think he's a nerd. 298 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:25,488 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 299 00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:27,720 I was a nerd. 300 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,252 Uh-huh. 301 00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:32,487 - Blows your mind, right? - Yeah. 302 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:35,632 Best thing my folks ever did was let me fail. Everything. 303 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:39,269 They didn't put training wheels on my bike. Broke my wrist three times. 304 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,598 But I learned. 305 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,173 Now every time I think I can't do something... 306 00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:45,866 ...I just listen to the click of my wrist. 307 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:49,570 Clearly, Bob had terrible, terrible parents. 308 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,512 But there was a grain of truth to what he was saying. 309 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,444 [FRANKIE SIGHS] 310 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,249 Brick, honey, I'm sorry. 311 00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:59,448 It's your speech. 312 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,924 So write it, don't write it. It's up to you. 313 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,254 Okay. I won't write it. 314 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,363 Thanks, Mom. 315 00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:07,931 [FRANKIE SIGHS] 316 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,969 - Hi, honey. How was the interview? - It went great. 317 00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,506 Really? You don't need to see me in the kitchen? 318 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:18,938 Nope. 319 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,976 Bob. What are you doing here? 320 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,341 - Oh, we just put the kids to bed. - Yeah. 321 00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,005 Thought we'd watch a little TV. 322 00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,713 Well, can I get you a beer? 323 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,115 Uh, no, thanks, Bob. I got it. 324 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:32,850 Those my pajama bottoms? 325 00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:35,550 Oh, yeah. I got paint on my pants. They're in the wash. 326 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,559 So I grabbed a pair of yours. 327 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,925 I knew you'd be okay with it. 328 00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:42,558 Get out, Bob. 329 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,996 You sure? Because Maroon 5's on Kimmel tonight. 330 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:51,142 I don't know who that is, Bob. Drive safe. 331 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,844 [DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES] 332 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,641 So? 333 00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,180 Really went well? 334 00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,840 Killed my soul. 335 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,715 That's how you know you're doing it right. 336 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,259 So the day of the election had arrived... 337 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,894 ...and I was ready to let Brick sink or swim. 338 00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:13,896 If he started sinking, I was prepared to pull a fire alarm. 339 00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:15,727 KEN: I could be an excellent historian. 340 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,027 [PHONE BUZZING] 341 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,261 Orson Septic. 342 00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:20,665 [FRANKIE GASPS] 343 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,899 KEN: I believe serving in student council's the best way for me... 344 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:26,772 ...to give back to the school that has given me so much. 345 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,277 I would be honored with the great privilege... 346 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:32,973 ...to tell our story for the future generations to come. 347 00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,209 Since last year... 348 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,752 ...I've been working day and night to prepare... 349 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:41,757 And you sucked it up and everything. Did he say why? 350 00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:42,951 Why, yes, he did. 351 00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:46,859 He said he didn't believe anyone could be that passionate about septic tanks. 352 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:50,433 He sensed a certain falseness in my enthusiasm. 353 00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:52,570 - Oh. KEN: Thank you. 354 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:54,568 TEACHER: Thank you, Ken. 355 00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:58,402 Our final candidate for school historian is Brick Heck. Brick? 356 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:00,936 [GIRLS GIGGLING] 357 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,444 TEACHER: Brick. 358 00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:06,912 - How's his speech? - I don't know. I didn't write it. 359 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,714 - What? BRICK: Ahem. 360 00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:12,119 Hi, I'm Brick Heck. 361 00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:14,588 Or as most of you know me, nerd. 362 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,124 [CHILDREN LAUGHING] 363 00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:20,629 I spend a lot of time locked in lockers here at Orson Elementary. 364 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:23,529 And that's given me a lot of time to think. 365 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:29,064 You may think I'm odd. And maybe I am. 366 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:32,404 I'm the kid who makes you late for recess because we have to walk in a group... 367 00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,637 ...and I'm still in the bathroom pulling up my pants. 368 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,475 [ALL LAUGHING] 369 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:40,618 Sure, I talk in a Scottish accent sometimes. 370 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,118 [IN SCOTTISH ACCENT] Don't knock it till you've tried it. 371 00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:49,955 [IN NORMAL VOICE] But aren't I exactly what you want for your school historian? 372 00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:53,290 Someone who has no social connections whatsoever. 373 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,262 Someone who'll take pictures of you... 374 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:58,301 ...doing fun things I have no desire to be a part of. 375 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,034 But the main reason you should vote for me... 376 00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,299 ...is because I suck at basketball. 377 00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:10,176 And if I'm not elected, I will try out for the team. 378 00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:13,045 Do you really want that on your conscience? 379 00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,344 I don't think so. 380 00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:16,315 [ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING] 381 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,519 I was so worried about trying to save Brick... 382 00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:22,717 ...but he saved us. 383 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,193 He took a day that could've been a real lousy one... 384 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:28,390 ...and turned it into one of our best. Like I said... 385 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,535 ...some days really surprise you. 386 00:19:32,037 --> 00:19:33,129 I won. 387 00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:34,464 You're kidding? 388 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,635 Wow, Brick, I'm so happy for you. 389 00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:40,975 Mom, can I see you in the kitchen for a sec? 390 00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:42,704 Uh-huh. 391 00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:46,009 I can't believe he won. 392 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:49,552 I have tried out for a million things and I've never gotten anything. 393 00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:51,188 It's just not fair. 394 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:53,381 I know it seems that way now... 395 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,426 ...but you were right there on the back of his poster... 396 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:59,961 ...pushing him from behind. 397 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,828 So, in a way, it's your victory too. 398 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,662 Well, I'm just worried about him. 399 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:09,273 If he got the first thing he tried out for, how is he ever gonna grow as a person? 400 00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,773 Actually, I feel sorry for him. 401 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,034 We all do, honey. 402 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,407 How about that brother of yours, huh? 403 00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:18,514 Nailed it on his first try. God, I'm proud of that kid. 404 00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:21,175 I haven't felt like this since Axl went to regionals. 405 00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:23,846 I have character. 406 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:27,851 Hey, I made dinner. Whatever. 407 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,220 Okay, what's this about? 408 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,862 Did you get suspended? Did you crash your car? 409 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,033 No, I got paid and I wanted to treat. God, you're welcome. 410 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:36,893 Thanks, buddy. 411 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,663 Twelve thousand more dinners and we're even. 412 00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:46,935 So Mike picked himself up and got right back into the game. 413 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,409 - Honey, have you seen...? - Shh. I'm on a interview. 414 00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:51,310 Oh. 415 00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:55,117 Besides, we weren't that worried that he didn't have a job yet. 416 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:58,586 Oops. I just remembered I'm supposed to take a picture... 417 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,248 ...of every kid in student council by tomorrow. 418 00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:05,319 Because suddenly I had two. 419 00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:10,592 Hi. Can I take a picture of, um, Tommy? 420 00:21:24,916 --> 00:21:26,747 [SIGHS] 421 00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:35,883 [ENGLISH - US - SDH] 422 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,139 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 423 00:21:39,189 --> 00:21:43,739 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0